1. cybergay:

    cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

    (via internetcallgirl)

  2. fuckdanielmaitland:

    There are approximately 1,013,913 words in the English language but I could never string any of them together to explain how incredible I think you are.

    (via internetcallgirl)

  3. niallhortonhearsawho:

    a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

    (via internetcallgirl)

  4. snoozlebee:

    dekutree:

    acceptable pet names:

    • babe
    • baby
    • sweetie
    • cutie pie
    • darling
    • honey

    unacceptable pet names:

    • boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
    • cthulhu 
    • sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
    • Leslie
    • floor
    • 2% milk
    • Ella Fitzgerald

    i think you have these mixed up

    (via internetcallgirl)

  5. mendthebroken:

acid-child:

supergreak:

halffizzbin:

thechronicleofshe:

pinkhairedlesbianadventures:

coachela:

rehability:

sadaholic:

loudwhisperss:

teenage-drrtbag:

If only all men were like this.

If men were all like this the world population rate would be so slow

There are guys like this you’re just too busy putting them in the fucking friend zone to see that

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

reblog for the comment

Oh hell no you better listen the fuck up dickwads
I was about to go to sleep and then this bullshit showed up on my dash and you have all earned yourselves fedoras so sit down, shut up, and educate your stupid asses.
“Putting them in the friendzone”? I’m sorry did you mean “I was nice to a girl and I cared about her and I’m bitter because she didn’t want me back?” Or was it “I believe that if I love another person they’re a bitch for just wanting to be friends.” Perhaps it was “I treated her (or pretended to, rather) like a person instead of a sexual object and now she’s not being a sexual object for me like I deserve.” No, wait, it’s “friendship with a girl makes me angry because I’m a self-entitled shithead who feels like if I want to be with a girl she has to accept that regardless of her feelings or else she’s a total bitch.”
The friendzone is the concept that a girl wanting to be your friend is somehow this inherently awful thing. Like, wow, did it occur to you that she thought you were, I dunno, FRIENDS? Did it occur to you that maybe she doesn’t feel romantically towards you but she still wants you to be part of her life because she thinks you’re a great person? I mean, if this is your reaction you’re wrong, because if you think friendzoning is a thing then clearly you’re a fucktrumpet but that’s beside the point.
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out. There are no punchcards to fill out to get to sex that you are apparently entitled to.
There is no friendzone, there are only people who don’t know how to behave like they’re not five-year-olds who don’t know how to take “no” for an answer.
Now I’m going to sleep. Disrespectful misogynistic asswagons.

Wow. Fucktrumpet, Asswagons? You are amazing at swearing. Like seriously amazing.

FUCKTRUMPET.

Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out. 

HOLY FUCK I LOVE YOU



everyone better read that long amazing comment!!!!!!!
  6. wartortles:

    wartortles:

    its so sad that blind people cant see the internet

    image

    *single tear drops down face* thats so beautiful 

    (via m3dd)

  7. jewbeard:

    i tried to grab fog
    but i mist

    (via m3dd)

  8. person: i like you

    me: why

  9. Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says “Open wide” is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

    (Source: alex-clover-sam, via internetcallgirl)

  10. glassbonespaperskin:

what happened to Amanda now omg
  11. unnoticedbyall:

    davidspookmour:

    imagine singing in the shower with your favorite band member

    we wouldn’t be singing

    (via l4nd-of-the-lost)