cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

(via internetcallgirl)

fuckdanielmaitland:

There are approximately 1,013,913 words in the English language but I could never string any of them together to explain how incredible I think you are.

(via internetcallgirl)

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

(via internetcallgirl)

snoozlebee:

dekutree:

acceptable pet names:

• babe
• baby
• sweetie
• cutie pie
• darling
• honey

unacceptable pet names:

• boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
• cthulhu 
• sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
• Leslie
• floor
• 2% milk
• Ella Fitzgerald

i think you have these mixed up

(via internetcallgirl)

wartortles:

wartortles:

its so sad that blind people cant see the internet

*single tear drops down face* thats so beautiful 

(via m3dd)

jewbeard:

i tried to grab fog
but i mist

(via m3dd)

Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says “Open wide” is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

(Source: alex-clover-sam, via internetcallgirl)

unnoticedbyall:

davidspookmour:

imagine singing in the shower with your favorite band member

we wouldn’t be singing

(via l4nd-of-the-lost)